goals in life;
- have a friend who becomes rich and famous or
- be that friend
later is the best time to do anything
HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS
STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)
STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”
STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen
- me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
- me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours
- Friend: what time do you usually go to bed?
- Me: 10:30ish sometimes 4